Nom Nom Nom

I've had a frustrating day, one of those days where bewildering things pile on top of you all day long. My windshield wipers wouldn't work this morning, but started working again on the way to the mechanic. My neighbor had a flat tire, and I helped her change it and got all dirty. Euw. The family business has been slammed with annoying paperwork, and another neighbor, not the one with a flat, inexplicably told me that I have the voice of a five-year-old. WTF?? My doctor's office billed me for tests that I paid for the day I was in the office. I tried to cancel my old dial-up service (which I was keeping strictly for use at the lake house), and the very kind gentleman from Whatthefuckistan kept me on the line for twenty minutes insisting that I need some other package which would be free for the first 30 days only. Every time I told him, "No, thank you," he would go right to the top of his script and start reading the whole thing over again. Every. Damned. Time. How much you wanna bet it shows up on my bill?

Oh. And a check I've been waiting for -- I did some extra freelance work a while back -- still hasn't showed up. Every time I follow up with the payor, she tells me, "I just mailed it today." I wouldn't normally fuss over delayed payment, but she's going to screw up my taxes if she doesn't cut the check in this calendar year.

So I knit for a while, but it wasn't quite taking the edge off.

I needed something more ninja.

I needed to use a knife. A sharp one.

So I made my trusty stir-fry, an easy and dependable dish I've been making since college. Everyone who's tried this very easy recipe has raved about it. Well, it's probably a stretch to call it a recipe. More like a blueprint.

You'll need:

• 3 c. or so chopped fresh vegetables, dealer's choice (The above was made with cauliflower, broccoli, and red radishes, but really, there are no bad choices -- this is a great way to use up leftovers)
• equal parts toasted sesame oil (or peanut), soy sauce, and rice vinegar (roughly a tablespoon or two of each)
• a few of drops of tabasco
• a generous dash of five spice powder, maybe around an eighth of a teaspoon, or to taste
  
• a good sprinkle of garlic powder, or one clove minced
• 1T sesame seeds (I'm out at the moment, so there aren't any pictured)
  

Put everything except the vegetables and sesame seeds in a deep skillet or wok and stir to mix. It won't mix perfectly because of the oil, but it's better if you mix the spices to dissolve them a bit. Heat the sauce until the garlic is just starting to sizzle. Add the hardest vegetables first and let them cook a bit before you add the softer ones. (Soft ones cook faster -- asparagus, radishes, summer squash, eggplant, and the like -- so you want to give the hard ones a head start.) Cook over a high flame, stirring frequently, until all the sauce is absorbed and vegetables are at desired tenderness.

If you're using sesame seeds (strongly recommended), dry toast them in a nonstick skillet for a minute or two, then sprinkle them on top of the vegetables before serving.

Leftovers reheat beautifully. Serve with rice or noodles. If you don't have any aggression issues or time for chopping, you can use the precut bags, baby carrots, canned water chestnuts, even frozen (though the texture will be different). You know those salad and dip platters you get at the grocery store for parties, and then have mountains leftover? Now you know what I do with mine. Into the wok!

My mom uses leftover cooked beef and chicken when she makes it, adding the meat when she adds the soft vegetables. My sister uses uncooked chicken or shrimp and adds it with the hard vegetables to cook thoroughly. Really, it's an anything goes kind of recipe. The sauce is both basic enough and versatile enough to dress up just about anything.

And all that chopping sure does restore a gal's equilibrium. Or if it doesn't restore her, it at least arms her.