Fuzzy Math, or, My Weekend By the Numbers

Seven-One

That's the height of the man in this blurry photo. Yes, he plays basketball. Yesterday, my cousin married into his family. And though I don't talk much about it, I am a huge college basketball fan. So my experience of my cousin's wedding reception was one of furtive glances and intense dilemma. Should I walk up to him and give him a hearty "Big Ten Represents!" as a way of congratulating him on his NBA success? Or should I (more likely, thank you Madame Merlot) walk up to him to tell him how much I hated him when he played against my beloved Boilermakers? Dang, but he used to beat us up out there. The man is huge -- and hugely talented.

In the end, I remembered my manners. I asked the groom for an introduction. I never got it, but I did get to say hello briefly at the end of the night as we were passing through doors at the same time. And I didn't mutter "Boiler Up!" even once.

ps. This deeply disappoints my brother, who was really hoping I would make an ass out of myself. Maybe next time, Danno. I mean, the guy is practically family now, so the likelihood of my eventual ass-hattedness is virtually assured. And if we have a christening or something during March Madness? It's a lock.




















Eighty-Five With Three

Despite her advancing years, Granny still has the boogie in her butt. Just look at her smiling as she does the three-legged mambo! I hope I'm as full of life as she is when I hit 85, but I doubt it will happen. She outruns me now.

Also, yes, this picture is blurry. Funny thing, that. My camera seems to be just as affected by wine as I am. The more we toasted the bride and groom, the more fuzzy our view became.



















A Half Plus A Half Plus a Quarter = Zero

Zero socks completed for SOS. But I am making progress, so it's not too shameful.

I mentioned the other day that if I could knit half as fast as The Wendy, I would be doing cartwheels of ecstasy. She has knit two full socks in the time it took me to knit two half socks. I'd be doing those cartwheels right about now, except that the poor thing had to basically sprain her back and become immobilized in order to slow down enough for me to reach half her speed.

Reads like a freakin' SAT question, doesn't it? "If Knitter W knits at a rate of eleventy million stitches per minute, and Knitter K knits at a rate of 30 stitches per minute, by what percentage must Knitter W decrease her rate in order for Knitter K to knit at half her speed?"

::shudder::

::math-heebie-jeebies::