The V Word

There's a big debate raging on Knitter's Review regarding handpainted variegated yarns. Some people hate them, some love them, some give them a qualified thumb's up depending on colorway and pattern selection.

I thought the debate was a little artificial until I pulled out the Summer 2007 Knitter's for another look-see.

I bought this magazine last week and flipped through it eagerly, as always. This time, the thought balloon in my head as I turned pages went something like, "ugly, ugly, dear god are they kidding?, ugly, that one's better, ugly, baby, baby, baby, gack! my eyes!, ugly." So I put the magazine down before any of the ugly could rub off on me, and figured I'd take a second look when I had a nice bracing beverage in hand and could maybe control the gag reflex.

That fearsome moment arrived late last night. My retinas were already scorched by the fireworks show, and I'd been casually imbibing since about two in the afternoon, so I figured I was ready. I could safely read the pattern magazine.

It didn't take me but three ugly patterns before I realized that I have a slight *cough*cough* aversion to garments knit in variegated yarn.

Now, I might think these were ugly even if knit in solid yarn. The Latin ruffles thing? I'm not seven, even if I try to act like it sometimes. We can skip the awful ruffles, thank you very much.

And the cover sweater? Take a closer look at how the part around the waist bags and droops and flutters. That's because of the way it's knit. Otherwise known as bad design.

Though, in fairness, there are some awful patterns in solid yarns. Like that bizarre shawl/vest combo thingie that only Bea Arthur could wear. Or the -gack! my eyes!- Tank of A Hundred Nipples, shown here under the little girl ruffly mess.

But the good designs, the ones that show thoughtful attention to detail and coherency of form, like the Grecian thingie by Lily Chin, and the Drifting Sands off-shoulder tank, and the sweaters for the guys, those are knit in workhorse solid yarns. Which kind of makes me wonder. Is it that it's harder to design garments with variegated yarns, or is it that variegated yarns make any design, no matter how clever, look worse?

I love variegated yarns for small articles like socks and mittens. I thought that the more subtle variations from a hand/kettle dye job were appealing for bigger pieces, but then I knit that Lady Eleanor in a purple kettle-dyed wool, and have been scheming to even out the color ever since. No amount or combination of kool-aid has been able to fix it to my satisfaction. Still irritates me, that yarn. I'm within inches of dying the whole Lady E black.

So maybe it's just me. Maybe I should just accept that I'm a solid color kind of gal, and leave the wild color combos for something I can hide under my pants legs.